Rachel Leviss Claims Tom Sandoval Was Against Her Staying in Therapy

Rachel “Raquel” Leviss is opening up about the moment she realized her relationship with Tom Sandoval was not the healthiest.

In the Friday, April 19 episode of the Rachel Goes Rogue podcast, Leviss, 29, read a journal entry from her stay at The Meadows, a mental health facility in Wickenburg, Ariz., where she sought voluntary treatment following the exposure of their secret months-long affair.

The podcast host explained that she wrote the journal passage after having watched Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets and feeling like Ginny Weasley (Bonnie Wright) “when Tom Riddle has her under his spell.”

“He has her do all of these things out of her character, out of her integrity, to please Tom. Am I playing the victim role by saying this? Essentially Tom has manipulated me and had me under his love spell,” read Leviss.

The former Vanderpump Rules star expressed that Sandoval, 40, had also turned her against her family by telling her that her mom didn’t have her best interest at heart and was “gaslighting” and “manipulating” her.

“My mom has ulterior motives, he says. He tries to talk me out of treatment. ‘They’re going to brainwash you. There isn’t such a thing called love addiction,’ ” Leviss read. ” ‘This place is a last-ditch effort. Extending is a bad idea. You are becoming dependent on this place.’ He calls me selfish for staying.”

Leviss continued: “I shared with him that I was having really dark thoughts, and I told him I was extending two more weeks. And he said that that was a bad idea. And I said, ‘I’m scared if I come out of what might happen if I’m having these dark thoughts.’ He said, ‘That’s still a bad idea. I’ve been having to rough it out here alone.'”

PEOPLE has reached out to Sandoval’s rep for comment.

The former reality television star said getting treatment helped her see Sandoval “for what he actually is.”

“I feel like I’m very thankful that I’ve had this experience to go in and get mental health care and intense trauma therapy because, without it, I would have remained under Tom’s spell,” she said. “This is towards the end of my journal. So it took me all of this time to get to this point where I was like, ‘Oh my god. He is always playing the victim role. He is switching the script on me to manipulate me and to control me.’ ”

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“This was like the game-changing journal entry. It’s like pages long of undeniable conversations,” she later added.

If you or someone you know needs mental health help, text “STRENGTH” to the Crisis Text Line at 741-741 to be connected to a certified crisis counselor.