Gwyneth Paltrow Shares Which Parenting Milestone Will Give Her a ‘Nervous Breakdown’

Gwyneth Paltrow has some major fears about her son going off to college.

In the fall, the actress will officially become an empty nester as her 18-year-old son, Moses Martin, heads off to college, joining his 19-year-old sister, Apple Martin, who started college in 2022. And Paltrow, 51, is apprehensive about the change.

“It’s kind of giving me a nervous breakdown, if I’m honest,” she said during the keynote panel at the In Goop Health Summit over the weekend, per The Hollywood Reporter. “I started being like, ‘Oh my God, and I need to quit my job and I need to sell my house and I need to move.’ It’s sort of putting things into turmoil.” 

She continued, “My identity has been being a mother. Apple’s going to be 20 in May. So I’ve oriented my whole life around them and their schedules and when school starts. You start to let go in increments when they’re driving themselves around or doing certain things. It is a slower process.”

Paltrow, who shares Apple and Moses with her ex-husband Chris Martin, admitted she’s working on changing her perspective on the situation. 

“Psychologist-astrologist Jennifer Freed said, ‘I would like you to think of it as being free birds instead of having an empty nest.’ And that resonates,” she said, per THR. “Instead of creating a sense of loss — what if I were free? And I could say yes to a girls’ weekend, because I didn’t feel guilty. That kind of thing.”

The Goop founder has been vocal in recent interviews about her anxieties about Moses’ upcoming departure for college as she’s described motherhood as something that’s made her “so defined and so fulfilled.”

“On the one hand, incredible sadness. A deep sense of impending grief. On the other hand, this is exactly what should be happening,” she told The Sunday Times about Moses leaving. 

At the same time, husband Brad Falchuk’s son will also be heading off to college, so the couple are in it together. “It’ll be interesting to see how the morning routine changes with no kids in the house,” she said.

After Apple headed off to college two years ago, Paltrow told PEOPLE that saying goodbye to her firstborn was “horrible.”

“It was truly horrifying. I was sick to my stomach, bursting into tears,” she admitted.

The Iron Man actress was relieved, though, to see how “happy” and “settled” Apple was at school. “She came home for October break just last weekend, so that was amazing,” Paltrow said. “I see her, but not as much as I’d like. I’d like to see her every day, but I’m so happy for her. She’s doing great.”

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Compared to Apple, Moses is a little bit more relaxed about the college process.

In an interview with Bustle, Paltrow said that her daughter was “very clear on where she wanted to go, and did everything in her power to make it happen and manifested it.” Moses, on the other hand, is “more relaxed about it.”

“Moses is like, ‘I don’t know, I like this and I like that, and let’s go back and see this, let’s go back and see that one,’ ” she told the outlet. “He’s kind of like ‘I’ll be happy wherever; it’s fine,’ which is a great feeling.”