Jason Tartick Thinks People Should ‘Start Clapping’ When They Hear a Red Flag (Exclusive)

In his new book Talk Money to Me: The 8 Essential Financial Questions to Discuss With Your Partner, The Bachelorette season 14 contestant Jason Tartick names infidelity as the top reason why relationships end, followed by financial issues.  

“We know statistically that 50% of relationships end in divorce and the second leading cause of divorce are money arguments,” the former banker, 35, tells PEOPLE. “If we know that we have to have these conversations, then let’s step into it. Numbers don’t lie.”

Tartick’s own relationship with fellow Bachelor Nation member Kaitlyn Bristowe ended last summer when the reality stars called off their engagement following four years together. He plays coy about whether either infidelity or money problems contributed to the breakup.

“The chapter closed and it closed for a reason that was right for her and it closed for a reason that’s right for me,” Tartick says. “When I think back on that, I feel like we have crossed that bridge. We’ve talked through it and there’s nothing else about that chapter that I feel makes really much sense to continue to address. Today I’m a product of the growth and I’m thankful for those times, even though some of them were really challenging. And when I look forward to the next chapters, I think about all the exciting things ahead.”

The Trading Secrets podcast host owns up to a mistake he made early on in his relationship with Bristowe, 38, when he first moved into the Nashville home she once shared with Shawn Booth, her fiancé from her season of The Bachelorette. Tartick admits in Talk Money to Me that he didn’t have the conversations about money — such as learning about each other’s spending habits, debts and credit scores — with Bristowe before they started cohabitating.

“The adrenaline of a new relationship is the best thing in the world,” Tartick tells PEOPLE. “Even someone like me who does this every day, who was taught about financial transparency at the age of 16 through my grandfather, I still was lost in the love clouds.”

Jason Tartick and Kaitlyn Bristowe.

Craig Sjodin via Getty

Today, Tartick encourages people to engage in those conversations about finances by the time they decide to live together.

“If we’re starting to talk about sex or, maybe we could start having little conversation about the checks — where they’re going and what’s coming in,” he says. “But the golden rule I would say is, before you cohabitate, you have to have the conversations as it relates to credit, inflows, outflows, understanding debt-to-income, understanding net worth, what retirement goals are, risk tolerance, etc.”

Of course, those conversations might lead to some unsavory findings, but Tartick says not to worry. “If you hear a red flag in finances, I want you to stop and actually start clapping because you heard the red flag,” the Buffalo, N.Y. native says. “Everyone buries the red flag.”

‘Talk Money to Me: The 8 Essential Financial Questions to Discuss With Your Partner’ cover.

HarperCollins Leadership

Tartick offers solutions in Talk Money to Me for navigating financial discrepancies in relationships, including models to approaching splitting bills when one person brings in more money than the other, worksheets for creating financial transparency and agreements such as prenups, postnups and cohabitation agreements that couples can sign. Tartick says he would get a prenup “no matter what relationship I get in.”

“The state laws exist, so why not customize them to make them the best fit for me and my significant other, regardless of who is the earner or who has more net worth?” he asks. “And I also think, in a world where so many things from a finance perspective are buried or shamed, it forces you to have these conversations.”

Numbers don’t lie, and Tartick doesn’t want someone he’s dating to lie, either. “If you’re deceiving and lying through finances, to me, that’s going to tell me what else you might be deceiving and lying [about],” the entrepreneur says. “Honesty, trust, loyalty, those are things that are really, really important to me. It’s not about what do the numbers look like, it’s can we be honest and open with each other about where we stand and why?”

Tartick describes financial infidelity as “cheating and manipulation through money in relationships” and shares that 43% of relationships experience it. And of that 43%, 18% get divorced.

“It comes down to communication,” Tartick says. “And when you’re not on the same page financially —and typically most people aren’t because they don’t have a plan or they don’t communicate — that leads to some resentment. The resentment sometimes leads to a lack of intimacy, and that’s a real thing.”

A new dating app called Score matches users based on their credit score and requires singles to have a credit score of at least 675 to start swiping.

“Here’s what I love about it: it’s promoting financial transparency and discussion about finances. Here’s what I don’t love about it: it’s shaming and putting people that are struggling in tough positions,” Tartick says. “If your credit score doesn’t meet a certain number, therefore you couldn’t qualify to meet someone? I say BS.”

‘Talk Money to Me: The 8 Essential Financial Questions to Discuss With Your Partner’ back cover.

HarperCollins Leadership

Tartick considers dating  “still pretty new to me” after being single for approximately nine months. But that doesn’t mean Tartick doesn’t have thoughts on today’s dating norms.

When it comes to paying on a first date, “I’m a people pleaser, so I’ve always paid on the first date,” he says. “But I do think after several dates there should be the conversation of money and who should pay for it.”

Tartick also weighs in on whether a man should send a car to pick up their date. “If I plan a date, I’m going to try and think through every single detail from the transportation, to the date, to after the date, what we’re eating, what we’re drinking, what type of entertainment there is,” Tarick says. “Whoever’s in charge of planning the date can decide those details.”

While he says “there’s no absolutes right now” in his dating life, after looking for love on The Bachelorette and being in a public relationship, he believes, “I may be a little bit more hesitant about dating in The Bachelor franchise.”

Last month, rumors swirled that Tartick might be dating content creator Kat Stickler after they were seen dining in Chicago, where they recorded an upcoming episode of his podcast, as well as possibly vacationing together. Tartick refers to Stickler, 29, as “an amazing person, lovely, great mother [and] hilarious content creator,” but calls Talk Money to Me his focus right now.

“Due to such a public breakup, even when I think about the idea of talking openly about my dating life, I’m like, ‘That scares me,'” he adds.

Even when it comes to being in the spotlight, “I’m still working through how it works and where I feel comfort and where I feel discomfort. And I think that changes on a day-to-day basis,” the Rewired Talent Management CEO says. “I’ve learned that when I do hit rock bottom, when I go through the hardships, it creates accelerated growth for me and it creates accelerated growth for hopefully the people that are following me.”

Ultimately, Tartick has no regrets about how his Bachelorette journey played out. “I think that was the start of my journey of getting more connected with myself and understanding feelings more,” he says. “And that was a time I’ll forever be grateful for.”

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Talk Money to Me: The 8 Essential Financial Questions to Discuss With Your Partner is available now, wherever books are sold.

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